Hen brain - the permanent damage of a mother of two

My brain stopped working when I became a mother. Not kidding, this myth is not a myth, its true. At least the part of the brain that makes you finish your thoughts and finish what you are doing. Its gone. It was just slightly disturbed with one child but as soon as I got home from the clinic with the second child this function stopped working. The daily implications for such dysfunction are no fun. Complete chaos in the house and usually only half of the intended day trip necessities in the bag once outside the house. In order to survive I always try to have the phrase "remember the THREE things" in my head before shutting the door: keys- check, telephone-check, wallet-check. Add to this: shoes on children´s feet- shoes on my own feet...but that is not as important as the three above as A usually rememinds me that we also need shoes and with the key its always possible to go back in, since I usually remember the shoes once hitting the snow with socks on the feet.

The biggest problem with this dysfunction is that there are always things that are lost, either momentarily or gone forever. I can never remember where I put the pacifier, the keys, the telephone etc. And since many things nowadays have their own feet (four small hands that pick them up and place them somewhere else), most of my awake time is spent searching for things or trying to recall what I was supposed to be doing. This is actually one of the reasons why I miss my work and the "hectic" pace at an office desk. At work you can finish your thoughts and you always know where the coffe cup is and where to go and get more coffee. I might have a pink view of what white collar work used to be, but hey what I remember is that every Monday morning felt like a relaxing holiday...

Back to the topic...Yesterday I realized the dearest thing of all had been misplaced. The Hotsling. First I used it to carry A. Up and down the stairs. Through airports and museums. Then I used it to carry G, up and down, out and about. The most practical sling ever, and it made my relation to both my kids so much more special than any buggy ever would do. I could carry them in my arms and still have my arms free. Both of them loved it at the age of one. I just showed them the sling and they came running and stretched their arms against me. First, I thought it was only misplaced, in the car or maybe in a lost-and-found bag in the mall. After one day of searching I had to realize the cruel reality: the sling is not there, nowhere to be found. And I am stranded. No more walking up stairs with hands free. No walking down the street with one kid in the sling and the other holding my hand. No walk up the metro stairs in hot Santiago.

Rationally you can say "come on its only a piece of fabrics, get on with your life". Luckily hubby was intelligent enough to understand the crisis yesterday and did not try such upsetting words - he let me mourn in peace. Because for me it is not that simple. Now surfing for a new sling on the internet I almost get tears in my eyes when I see the fabric of the old one. All those memories and all that mobility it gave me. Gone. I know that G will not be sitting in a sling for much longer. He is already walking up and (throwing himself) down the stairs. But still, I cannot say goodbye to the Hotsling in this abrupt way. The Zoie fabric in my size is not available anymore but I got another one. Instead of turquoise its orange, and it will be waiting for me at the post office once we get home. Until then G travels in the Beco on my back. Not as personal, but for the sake of mobility it will do.

Hotsling Zoie - R.I.P. (I hope the lucky one that found it understand how to use it...).